The most-accomplished detectives in the universe, the best psychiatrists in the world and the unnamed member from the Punjab Government who signed the Na Maloom Afraad 2 ban met on Saturday morning to discuss the step. Their meeting was in progress when the Punjab Censor Board lifted the ban and allowed the film to be screened in its entirety.
However, the document that was leaked to Very Filmi showed what the reasons were to ban a film that was doing well in cinemas and had accumulated a business of over 20 crore rupees in 35 days. Here goes:
How dare the director Nabeel Qureshi showed a dignified actor like Jawed Sheikh wearing shorts and Fahad Mustafa wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and a torn jeans in Hug Lay song. What message would it give to the old and young of Punjab who have never worn shorts, torn jeans or a sleeveless T-shirt!
Fahad Mustafa should either do a film or that mega show of his because he is rich one day and poor the other; it goes against the code of ethics of Punjab where once a rich means always a rich. Banned!
Is that Hania girl a Pakistani because she is wearing a skirt while working in South Africa? It is our understanding that Pakistanis where ever they go wear Kurta Shalwar and take Dupatta since they are proud of their heritage and culture.
That Kaif o Suroor dancer must be from abroad because, a) she is way too beautiful to be a Pakistani and b) no one in Pakistan can do a belly dance like that, so we will not consider her just like we didn’t consider the fairies wearing a bikini in another song.
However, the songs are bad for the youth of Punjab who might watch them on their free laptops given by the Chief Minister. Banned!
Arabs, Chinese & Turks are off-limits
Pakistan is the brotherly nation of Turkey hence you can’t make fun of the Turkish; the secretary of Sultan Al Baklawa’s character resembled the supporting actresses in Turkish plays so that is a violation of Pak Turk relationship.
Chinese are helping Pakistan in rebuilding a progressive country so we will not accept anything against them and the producers should keep that in mind for they might mock the Chinese if not stopped today.
Last but not the least, the filmmakers of Pakistan must know that if the First Family is expelled from Pakistan (in a worst-case scenario), Saudi Arabia will be their destination as they are always welcome there.
Hence, no jokes against the Saudis … since the storyline of Na Maloom Afraad 2 revolves around a Saudi Sheikh … Wallah Habibi! Banned!
Marina smoking cigarette
We strongly criticize Marina Khan’s act of smoking a cigarette in the film; she is one of the iconic actors Pakistan has produced in the last 30 years and just like a perfect Pakistani woman, she can’t be allowed to smoke – both in public or private. Women in Punjab might follow her causing extreme damage to their lungs and the government’s ego, which is growing daily, just like the population of Lahore. Banned!
The Six Pack
People have complained to the Punjab Government that a Golden Commode and A Bridal dress cannot be equal in weight; to clarify the matter, the director and producer showed Mohsin Abbas Haider’s Six Pack, since he was supposed to carry the Commode.
However, the Punjab Government considered the act unethical and indecent because women in Punjab rarely get to see a local actor with Six Pack Abs.
Neither Sultan Rahi nor his successors had that, so anyone having Six Pack must be condemned for doing something against the norm. Either ask the person to apologize publicly or make him wear a shirt in the song. Otherwise … Banned!
This article is a work of fiction, the world’s best detectives and psychiatrists don’t have time for Na Maloom Afraad 2.
For lifting of the ban, we have the Punjab Censor Board to thank.
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