Saved From The Censor

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lkmwt

The way Censor Board in Pakistan – especially the ones in Islamabad – are behaving at the moment makes me thank God for a lot of things.

Thank God my favourite Bollywood films weren’t released in Pakistan in the 70s, 80s and the 90s otherwise these people would have literally killed them with their 1940-ish mindset where a girl can’t ride a tonga, where a girl and a boy can’t be friends and where Rambo cannot do what he wants despite being Rambo.

Let’s take a look at some of the films that were saved from Pakistani Censor and managed to do well in cinemas all around the world.

Sholay (1975)

  • Basanti cannot drive a tonga nor can her ghori be a she – change them or cut them out of the film.
  • Jai and Veeru can’t be friends as they are of the same age and share everything. Make it an old boy and a young one who act like father and son.
  • Thakur should have one hand to perform his duties. He should be thinking of revenge, on the other hand, preferably the left one as that isn’t used in namaaz.
  • Moulvi’s son should not be murdered; instead, he should be kidnapped and the heroes can go and rescue him during Mehbooba Mehbooba

  • Radha should get married to anyone who stays alive in the film as she remained true to her husband’s memory.
  • We are happy with Helen’s clothes as she is wearing transparent leggings that is acceptable to us.
  • Gabbar abuses all without anyone interrupting. Add a character like a mother in flashbacks to stop him from doing so.
  • Jai shouldn’t die and he should be taken to the hospital; his actions will inspire our children to become suicidal for their friends.
  • Sambha should smile when Gabbar is arrested because that makes him the man in charge; his character should take revenge in the sequel.

Rambo III (1988)

  • Why does the Pathan say salam to Rambo … since he is not a Muslim?
  • Colonel’s speech about Muslims and their history should be in the film twice. Make it happen.
  • Why are Muslims being shown as the bad guys here as all Muslims will go to Heaven?
  • Rambo should be the one who gets killed in the end as Muslims have never lost a War!

  • In this fight between USSR and USA, Pakistan gets involved but doesn’t get any aid. We should!
  • Peshawar is shown to be a backward city when in an ideal world, it is not. Change it or cut it.
  • In the end, the Pakistan Border is shown as a normal ground. Make it better, add colour and grass.
  • Pakistan should be portrayed as a peaceful country because we hate war.

Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya (1998)

  • Why is Salman Khan shirtless when there are a lot of ladies attending his concert in O O Jaan e Jana?
  • How can Kajol’s character lift a handkerchief that was thrown by Salman Khan’s character in another city?
  • Why is Arbaaz Khan always so angry … please explain.
  • Why did Chachu Dharmendra bring a stranger to his house when there was an adult girl in the house?
  • Why are the students getting intimate in the college; it will have a bad effect on our generation.

  • Who lives in a farmhouse these days?
  • Why did Salman Khan and Kajol meet each other without permission from an elderly?
  • Why does Salman Khan not respect his father Kiran Kumar … please tell him to be more respectful to his father.
  • How can Salman Khan see Kajol wherever he goes in Deewana Main Chala? It promotes delusional behavior in youngsters.
  • The song Suno Jawaani is filmed on two characters who aren’t married … please either insert a marriage scene or remove the song.
  • Why an intimate song between Change the title as Pakistan was part of the Indian subcontinent when Anarkali sang this song in front of Emperor Akbar. No permission was taken from this side of the Wagah border.
  • The girl’s dupatta is flying high in Odh Li Chunariya song; please have it fixed as it sets a bad precedent in our society.
  • In Tum Par Hum song, the girl is threatening the boy literally about how her brother will torture him if they get married.